Many things happened this year. I was happy before, to be exact, I was happy last year. When my friends were there to bring me joy and you were there. But now, everything changed. Get into this new environment and i resist to change. Why? Because I love and enjoy the past. They are wonderful memories and never i have expected i would become so upset in this new environment. I feel that I don't belong here. Every morning I come to school, is just purely to do what I am supposed to do-get educated and leave. I find no motivation and joy coming to school, not like in the past anymore. Why? I always question myself. But the more I questioned, the more I cry. I miss the past, I despise my current life and I see no future. Things are so hard here. Getting a degree seems so hard and far from me.

And, family issues. I don't understand. I am spending my own money, they are unhappy. Okay, I know I always spend and I am using up my own savings, but isn't this what girls always do? Not that i have always take money from you before I leave the house. I know that savings are important, but I am not excessively spending my money like hundreds a month?

Curfews. For this 17 years of my life, I have never get home after the clock strikes 12 at night when I am out with my friends. The only one time I am allowed is when i got to prom last year. That's the ONLY time. And last night, I got home before 11 and you nagged at me, he nagged at me. Why? I am just merely coming home after 10 and you have to start nagging. The WHOLE family argue with me. What's the matter? I am already 17 this year and you still have to do this? And I has been so long since I come home at that time. AND it's not even after 11!

My brother. Last night I cried so badly not because I made him upset and I am so sorry. He, who is younger than me, said such harsh things to his sister. He said that I don't think like him, and he is trying to bring across that oh, he uses his brain so well that he is a mature man. Oh please, everyday I heard him boosting about how great he was with his studies and ended up getting results like shit. So wow, he is MORE mature than me? He uses his BRAIN huh? I am so impressed. WOW. A person who use a brain will not boost when he doesn't have the ability to do it. If you said that you can get good grades, then better prove it to me. Don't get so yaya and talk cock in front of me when you can't do it. That will make me lose confidence in you.